


Nightmares

by Hellokaelyn



Category: NCIS
Genre: Episode Tag: s16e10 What Child Is This?, F/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Probably a little OOC, only a little
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 07:04:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16969989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellokaelyn/pseuds/Hellokaelyn
Summary: Ellie almost dying hits Nick hard.





	Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> Only one of the 16x10 fics I plan to write!

It had taken 11 years on the job but Nick experienced his first literal  _ heart stopping _ moment.

Out of all the times he was undercover face to face with some of the most dangerous people that could kill him on the spot if he made one wrong move, out of all the times he had a gun to his face, out of all the times he came close to being blown up by a bomb, or even the time he was knocked on his ass by one, it took two quick seconds for it to happen.

One minute Vicious had the gun pointed at him, and the next he had fired shots at Ellie narrowly missing her head with his thankfully bad aim. 

Nick’s heart  _ stopped _ . 

After his quick reaction to shoot the piece of shit that  _ dared _ shoot at Ellie of all people, he only just barely stopped himself from running over to her as Gibbs did instead. He had to remind himself to do his job and check Vicious’ pulse and secure his weapon. 

Thankfully Gibbs was too focused on Ellie to realize his hands were shaking and his breathing was unsteady. 

* * *

Nick’s mind was whirling as he sat on Gibbs couch with Ellie, trying to keep as much focus on the baby as he could. It was better to focus on him then Ellie.

Ellie who he almost lost today. 

Who wouldn’t have known how he felt.

It terrified him to think of what he’d become if Vicious had better aim. 

“I almost died today, Nick.” She said, looking over at him. 

He looked at her back for a split second before slowly looking away, trying to keep his face from betraying his emotions. 

“I’m trying not to think about it.” He said, biting back what he really wanted to say. 

An hour later Ellie had fallen asleep.

Nick felt his own eyes start to droop, deciding to lay down too but not before checking that the baby was fast asleep. He fell asleep with his eyes on her, and his ears listening for any sounds from the baby.

Thoughts of a future just like this filled his dreams.

* * *

If only his dreams stayed that way. 

It had been a week since returning to work from the holidays and Nick had a nightmare every night since after returning the baby to where he belonged. 

Nick had trained his body not to get much sleep since he started undercover work all those years ago, because those few hours of sleep could have meant his death at times. Which came in handy since he only got about an hour or two of sleep every night. 

Every now and then at his desk he could feel someone looking at him but he didn’t dare look up to see who it was. 

His nightmares would go away eventually just like they always did. 

* * *

_ Nick stood paralyzed for a few seconds as Ellie’s blood sprayed, her body dropping, her eyes giving him a haunted feeling. _

_ He barely registered Vicious’ body being shot up with bullets from Gibbs’ gun, or the shout of Ellie’s name coming from his mouth as Gibbs ran over to her body. _

_ A pain he never felt before filled him.  _

_ Nick dropped to his knees, gasping for breath clutching at his heart. _

_ “Nick!” He heard Gibbs shout. “Breathe Nick!” _

_ A sob left his mouth, making it even harder to breathe.  _

_ “She’s-” Was all he got out before more sobs came, his body shaking. _

_ “Gone...she’s gone..” Gibbs said in a broken voice, shaking as if he was holding in tears.  _

_ “No…” Nick choked out. “No..” _

_ Nick barely felt Gibbs’ arms wrap around him. _

_ Coldness filled him along with the pain. _

_ He couldn’t make himself look in her direction.  _

_ Nick stared at his gun that he dropped. _

Nick sat up in his bed gasping.

He lifted his hands to rub at his eyes only to come away with wetness. Nick sighed deeply. That one always resulted in him waking up this way. 

Nick reached over to grab his phone off his nightstand, just barely stopping his fingers from sending her a text or calling her. Temptation to hear her voice after his nightmares was always strong but he always managed to stop himself. He had no doubt Ellie had her own nightmares to worry about, it was  _ her  _ who almost died after all. 

She didn’t need to hear his problems. 

* * *

“You okay?” Ellie whispered to him before they reached the bullpen that morning after riding in the elevator together.

“I’m fine, just didn’t have any coffee this morning.” He told her, his perfect smile in place.

Ellie didn’t look like she really bought it but didn’t push.

Nick gripped the strap of his bag tightly when his back was to her walking to his desk. 

* * *

_ Nick stood in front of her grave with a cold dead look on his face.  _

_ Wind spun around him making whistling noises as it passed through the trees.  _

_ He bent down to set down some flowers before walking away.  _

_ Pulling out his phone, he dialed a number. _

_ “I’m glad you called.” The deep and gruff voice said the second the call was picked up. _

_ “Who’s my next assignment?” Nick asked right away, he had no damn time for small talk.  _

_ He felt the emotions start to come that he felt every time he stopped to visit her grave.  _

_ Nick needed it to go away. And quickly. _

_ “Jake Malloy, works for the NSA. Think you can make it happen?” _

_ A cold grin settled on his lips. _

_ “You know damn well I can.” _

_ The person on the other end laughed. “I figured. Your pay will be doubled for this one, that bastard messed with the wrong guys sister.” _

_ Nick chuckled emotionless. That was no surprise to him, a memory of Ellie telling him about her ex-husband cheating on her went through his mind before he shoved it away.  _

_ “Consider it already done.” _

_ “Knew I could count on you, Torres.”  _

_ Two days later Nick grinned as he crouched down beside Jake who was slowly bleeding out in a dark alley.  _

_ “Just say the word, and I’ll end it for you now.” Nick said, his blood covered hands twisting the knife deeper into Jake’s body.  _

_ “N-No.” Jake managed to get out, choking on the blood slowly filling his mouth.  _

_ Nick smirked, the same smirk that now sent chills down anyone's spine that witnessed it.  _

_ “Fine by me.” He yanked the knife out before stabbing another part of Jake’s body that wouldn’t kill him just yet, unless he bled to death which wouldn’t surprise Nick with the growing puddle of blood. “I prefer to watch you suffer.” _

_ A few seconds later Nick took the knife out, stepping back to watch Jake take his lasts painful breaths. Nick’s cold dead eyes enjoying every second.  _

_Two minutes later Nick discreetly sneaked out of the alley, a fire burning behind him._

* * *

Nick probably would have gotten away with his nightmares if it wasn’t for that one.

That nightmare kept repeating in his head, feeling so realistic to him that he could practically feel the blood on his hands.

He couldn’t look at Ellie for two days.

It was only a matter of time after that before she came knocking at his door. 

“You’re going to tell me what the  _ hell _ is going on with you!” Was the first words to leave her mouth as she shoved past him into his apartment. 

Nick sighed and shut the door, moving to stand in front of her. 

“Just some nightmares, Ellie. Nothing to worry about.”

“Nothing to worry about?!” She stared at him in disbelief. “You haven’t looked at me for two days, the lack of sleep is starting to become obvious, and don’t think I haven’t noticed how much more coffee you’re downing these days.”

He shrugged. “They’ll go away eventually.”

Ellie stared at him so intensely that he shifted, he felt as if she was seeing right through him. 

“Well if the way you acted towards me the last few days is any indication, I’m going to take a guess and say these nightmares involve me?” 

Nick couldn’t help his flinch. 

Her eyes softened. “Nick..it’s about Vicious almost killing me, isn’t it? That’s when these started?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh..yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked softly. 

“It’s my problem.” Nick told her. “And I’m sure you have your own nightmares.”

Ellie nodded. “Yeah I have some but not every night which you obviously have.”

“It’ll go away.”

“Nick...it’s been two months.”

“What?”

Ellie gave him a worried look as he walked over to the calendar on his wall. He swallowed roughly. How the hell had he not realized it had been  _ two months _ since? He knew what month it was, so  _ how _ ?

“How’s that possible?” He mumbled to himself. 

He hadn’t realized Ellie moved to stand beside him, her hand on his arm. “It’s the lack of sleep, your brain isn’t working the way it should.”

Nick rubbed his eyes, suddenly feeling tired. 

He said and did nothing as Ellie grabbed his hand, leading him towards his bedroom. 

“Get some sleep.” 

Nick’s body tensed. “I’m not tired.”

“Nick.” Ellie said sternly. “Get on the damn bed and  _ sleep _ .”

“I can’t-”

“I promise I’ll be here when you wake up.”

It only took seconds after laying on his bed for him to start to drift, his mind barely registering the soft look Ellie gave him before his eyes closed. 

* * *

He didn’t know how long he slept before he woke up screaming. 

“Nick!” He heard her shout before her scent filled his senses making his eyes snap open.

A sick feeling filled him as he shoved her away as lightly as he could before dashing towards the bathroom.

He could feel her hand rubbing his back as he leaned over the toilet.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, his voice rough from his...recent activities. 

“It’s not like you could help it.” Ellie said, moving aside to let him wash the nasty taste in his mouth away before handing him a glass of water. 

“Not for throwing up.” He told her, both of the walking back to his bed and sitting down. “I was screaming wasn’t I? I-”

“Once again, it’s not like you could help it so don’t apologize for that.” She grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers. “Nick, do you even remember what was in your dream?”

“No.” He mumbled. It was the truth, though he knew enough that it was about her being dead like they all were. 

“You were screaming my name.” 

His head snapped up to look at her. “Fuck Ellie, I’m sorry-”

“What did I say?” She sighed. “No apologizing.” 

Nick sighed and rubbed a hand down his face.

Ellie squeezed his hand before resting her head on his shoulder.

* * *

A week later Nick slowly opened his eyes, a smile coming to his face when he saw her laying next to him, her hair spread out on the pillow as she slept. 

After his little...episode (that he would rather forget), Ellie had declared that she was staying with him until his nightmares went away. He hadn’t believed her until he came back from a run one afternoon to find bags in his living room and some of her clothes suddenly in his draws and closet. 

Nick figured she would have slept on his couch, and couldn’t help his look of surprise when he got out of the bathroom after his shower to find her settled in his bed for the night. He had to try hard to shove down everything he felt about the image in front of him. 

“I don’t think me being here will help anything if I’m in the other room.” She had told him, a glint he couldn’t place in her eye. 

Ellie stirring pulled him out of his thoughts. Her eyes blinked open slowly, a smile forming on her own lips when she saw him awake.

“How’d you sleep?” She asked, her voice still sleepy. 

“No nightmares.” He told her, which was the honest to god truth. 

He hadn’t had a nightmare since that night. 

Nick knew it was probably because he could smell  _ her _ which must have helped his subconscious when sleeping. 

“That’s good. You know it’s been a week-”

“Stay.” 

Her eyes widened. “Nick-”

“It’s not ‘cause I’m worried you leaving will make them start up again-” Nick moved a piece of hair out of her face, his fingers skating across her face gently. “I like having you here, Ellie.”

She smiled softly. “I like being here, too.”

“So don’t leave.”

“Nick-” She laughed a little, looking a little bewildered. “We may be close friends, but we’re still just friends-”

“I don’t want to be friends, Ellie.” Nick said, quickly talking more when he saw the look on her face. “I mean, I don’t want to be  _ just _ friends anymore.”  His nightmares that he could remember flashed through his head, in every one she had died not knowing how he felt. It was time to change that. 

“Are you-” Ellie scooted closer to him. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

Nick gave her a little grin before lifting himself up on his elbow, leaning over placing his lips against hers. 

“I wanna do that all the time.” He told her when pulling away. Ellie looked at him like she wondered if  _ she _ was the one dreaming. 

Until she gave him her own grin. “It’s about damn time.”

Nick laughed, putting an arm around her waist to pull her against him sliding her across his bed. 

“You could have made the first move, you know.” He teased her lightly. 

Ellie rolled her eyes. “And possibly scare you off? I don’t think so.”

Nick rested his forehead against hers, both of them silent as they took the moment in. 

“Ellie?” Nick said quietly.

“Yeah?”

“What if ‘cause of what happened and the nightmares, I freeze next time you’re in danger?” 

Ellie kissed him softly.

“We’ll get through it, I promise.”


End file.
